Apparently I took a little hibernation from my blog. Reading over a few people's posts this week has made me miss my little outlet for rants, vents and/or moderately deep thoughts. Lately I have been taking a hibernation from a lot of things that I find to be key for my mental health and well-being: blogging, yoga, running, eating well. What on Earth is going on?!
So what, you may ask, has gone on during the extended hiatus of mine? Quite a bit, so I will start from the beginning:
Running/Yoga - part of the reason for my lack of blogging may have been the generally crappy mood that I have found myself to be in for...too long. Part of the crappy mood that I have been in for...too long, may be related to the complete halting of all running and/or yoga activities. But don't worry friends, I have not totally changed my feathers, I am however, injured. Injured and banned from my two favorite activities, my outlets for my frustrations, my sanity regaining hours, and my endorphin boosters.
Sadly, per MRI confirmation, I have a labral tear in my left hip. In case you don't know (because I didn't), labral tears are the stupidest injury ever. They don't heal on their own and running and yoga are the worst activities for them. Yoga can cause the tear to tear and running inflames the joint, exacerbating the symptoms. My tear is small enough though that I am not really a surgical candidate. I did 6 weeks of physical therapy, which did get me pain free, but restricted to the elliptical machine. Side note - Renee, my PT, was and is awesome!
I think that I have decided that since YOLO, I am going to slowly restart both activities (Renee, if you are reading this, don't yell at me please!). I need to make this choice for my own sanity. I figure that the worst thing that can happen is I'll make the tear bigger, thus becoming a surgical candidate and solving this problem in a really round about and painful way. But at least you can run and do yoga regularly after surgery ;)
It's funny how one thing in our lives can have such a domino effect on everything else. I don't know what happened. One minute I'm a runner, making vegan dinners and the next I'm a couch potato, eating cheese like it's my job.
There are a few positive changes on horizon as well. Things are looking up at work. I seem to have made it through the layoffs here at UM unscathed and should be stepping into a new position soon. The new job responsibilities are interesting and should provide me with a great opportunity to learn and grow. Also, as of 8/17/12 (tentatively, fingers crossed for board approval), I will be moving to Coconut Grove! I am so excited for the change of scenery. I found a cool apartment in a great location. I am ready to be near the following: younger people, art, culture, fun restaurants, fun in general, work.
I think that should suffice for a quick update on that last...9 or 10 months. I hope that anyone who may be reading this is having a beautiful day filled with positivity :)
Love.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Sunday, October 16, 2011
It's in the cards...
This past Thursday I went to the Full Moon Party at the Ritz in Fort Lauderdale. At the party, they had a lovely woman reading tarot cards, which I was immediately drawn to. I hovered around her table (at a polite distance for the person currently having her cards read), and waited for my turn.
Once I sat down and started shuffling, she asked me to think of a question and repeat it in my mind. My question was: Am I better at being alone than I am at being in a relationship? Followed up with: Am I okay with this notion? I have come to realize during my most recent trip around the sun that I really like myself. I think that I do a pretty good job of leaving the world a better place than I found it. I know what I stand for, I know who I am. I know what I believe in and what choices are right for me.
For some reason, unknown to me, I fall apart when I start dating someone. I compromise on things that I would normally not, I make decisions that I know are not the best choices for me, but I do it anyways. It's frustrating to step outside of the situation and watch myself make the wrong decisions, and for people who are hardly worth it. Realizing this has led me to not look for a relationship. It actually feels lighter. Once you let go of other people's expectations and start to figure out who you are and what you need, the right answers are clear and comforting.
I think that the universe agrees, and to confirm with a sense of humor, my final card (signifying my destiny and future path) was the Hermit. Seriously. The reading was beautiful and meaningful. I am a believer in spirituality and love, spreading positive energy around the world as you touch other people's lives, and I want to make sure that I am taking the time to focus on that now. This reading was an excellent reminder about what I consider important and the things that I should be giving my time and energy to at this point in my life.
This entire blog entry feels too personal and too vague at the same time.
My favorite portion of the Hermit tarot card meaning: His own inner light must learn to shine in the absence of the light of others.
Once I sat down and started shuffling, she asked me to think of a question and repeat it in my mind. My question was: Am I better at being alone than I am at being in a relationship? Followed up with: Am I okay with this notion? I have come to realize during my most recent trip around the sun that I really like myself. I think that I do a pretty good job of leaving the world a better place than I found it. I know what I stand for, I know who I am. I know what I believe in and what choices are right for me.
For some reason, unknown to me, I fall apart when I start dating someone. I compromise on things that I would normally not, I make decisions that I know are not the best choices for me, but I do it anyways. It's frustrating to step outside of the situation and watch myself make the wrong decisions, and for people who are hardly worth it. Realizing this has led me to not look for a relationship. It actually feels lighter. Once you let go of other people's expectations and start to figure out who you are and what you need, the right answers are clear and comforting.
I think that the universe agrees, and to confirm with a sense of humor, my final card (signifying my destiny and future path) was the Hermit. Seriously. The reading was beautiful and meaningful. I am a believer in spirituality and love, spreading positive energy around the world as you touch other people's lives, and I want to make sure that I am taking the time to focus on that now. This reading was an excellent reminder about what I consider important and the things that I should be giving my time and energy to at this point in my life.
This entire blog entry feels too personal and too vague at the same time.
My favorite portion of the Hermit tarot card meaning: His own inner light must learn to shine in the absence of the light of others.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Today I will...appreciate
This morning during my yoga practice, I was filled with gratitude for the many blessings and freedoms in my life. I am not unaware of the men and women who dedicate their lives to afford me these luxuries. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Namaste
Good morning my friends. I started this blog about a week or so ago, after ending my old one, but have yet to say anything. I wasn't quite sure where to begin, so this morning I'll start where I stand. I was blogging about this journey to become tough and to prove that I could finish the Tough Mudder in Tampa in December.
Two weeks ago, the time came to put my money where my mouth was and sign up for the race, and I just didn't want to. I wasn't that I thought I couldn't do it (although it does sound like a VERY hard race), I just have no urge to pay money to torture myself. For the past few months, I have barely been working out. No running, no yoga, no ladders. I think all of the pressure of the race took the enjoyment out of it and I stopped. I also felt guilty for wanting to go to yoga, because I should have been running or doing something more to train.
I am a big believer in taking care of your body, so that it can take care of you. My tipping point was when I realized that I felt guilty for wanting to do something that I love (yoga) and I let that guilt keep me from it. I felt like I couldn't not do the race because I had said that I would and I did not want to disappointment anyone. But I was disappointing myself. So I just decided not to do it. I told my brother I was out (sorry), and took the registration money I saved and bought a 10 class hot yoga package.
Ah, sigh, happy smile. I feel better already. Yoga 3 times a week has been good for my soul. I was laying on my mat during savasana thinking that I would love to go to yoga again tomorrow. No Nik (I said to myself), you need to run. And then I realized, nope. I don't have to do anything that isn't going to make me as happy as I deserve to be. I can go to yoga everyday if I want, and from this point on, I just might do that.
So that is where I stand. This blog is not a chronical of my yoga journey, although I am sure it will be mentioned quite a bit. It's just my thoughts and ramblings about what I am doing in my life to make myself a better person and the world a more lovely place. That being said, I am off to yoga to celebrate this beautiful morning and the free will that we all have to choose our paths in life.
Love.
Two weeks ago, the time came to put my money where my mouth was and sign up for the race, and I just didn't want to. I wasn't that I thought I couldn't do it (although it does sound like a VERY hard race), I just have no urge to pay money to torture myself. For the past few months, I have barely been working out. No running, no yoga, no ladders. I think all of the pressure of the race took the enjoyment out of it and I stopped. I also felt guilty for wanting to go to yoga, because I should have been running or doing something more to train.
I am a big believer in taking care of your body, so that it can take care of you. My tipping point was when I realized that I felt guilty for wanting to do something that I love (yoga) and I let that guilt keep me from it. I felt like I couldn't not do the race because I had said that I would and I did not want to disappointment anyone. But I was disappointing myself. So I just decided not to do it. I told my brother I was out (sorry), and took the registration money I saved and bought a 10 class hot yoga package.
Ah, sigh, happy smile. I feel better already. Yoga 3 times a week has been good for my soul. I was laying on my mat during savasana thinking that I would love to go to yoga again tomorrow. No Nik (I said to myself), you need to run. And then I realized, nope. I don't have to do anything that isn't going to make me as happy as I deserve to be. I can go to yoga everyday if I want, and from this point on, I just might do that.
So that is where I stand. This blog is not a chronical of my yoga journey, although I am sure it will be mentioned quite a bit. It's just my thoughts and ramblings about what I am doing in my life to make myself a better person and the world a more lovely place. That being said, I am off to yoga to celebrate this beautiful morning and the free will that we all have to choose our paths in life.
Love.
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